Thus Spake Sol
The wit and wisdom of Sol Golomb

On giving a litany of health concerns during a doctor’s visit:
“An organ recital.”

On Zohrab Kaprielian (former USC provost, executive vice president and USC engineering dean):
“At one point, after I had been a while at USC, there were four levels of administration between me and the president of the university, and all of them were Zohrab Kaprielian.”

On euphemisms:
“American ‘bathroom’ is a euphemism that often confuses foreigners, since many a ‘bathroom’ contains no bathtub. Russian has ‘noozhnik,’ meaning a place of necessity.”

On getting older: “I’m an oxygenerian.”

On the antiquity of the dreidel:
“Dear Rabbi Dov, As I mentioned to you a few days ago, the dreidel is actually an ancient toy, but I may be one of the very few people who know this, and I discovered it by accident.”

On noticing his daughter wearing mismatched shoes at an event where
he was receiving an important award:
“Don’t worry, you have a pair just like it at home.”